...of all nights, i should've been passed-out-dead-to-the-world-with-drool-on-my-pillow two hours ago.
i've worked 1-10 the last four nights (well, 2-10 on Sunday, if you want to get technical) and today, i worked 9-8.
i have a day of plans tomorrow (with a follow-up do-nothing Saturday).
like i said, i should've been asleep two hours ago.
but i'm not.
and i believe firmly that it is because the Lord has given me words to write.
...and He actually wants me to type them out this time, not just think about them and doodle about them in my journal.
why am i here?
a question that has been asked by billions of people during billions of situations.
a husband waiting on his wife in a shoe store...
a missionary who has just moved across the word following the Lord's calling...
me, in Charleston.
i've been here for over two years now and i can't say for certain why the Lord has called me here. i have a lot of good speculations: a job that i love (even during tech support), a church that i love, a boyfriend i love. but beyond the physical, i know that God moved me here for a reason, not just for me, but for His kingdom.
the way i see it, we're all like puzzle pieces.
some of us are skinny pieces with rounded ends, some of us are squares-like pieces where others connect, some of us are edge pieces, and some of us are corners.
i've been struggling with purpose.
i've been struggling to figure out what my point is.
but that's because i've been focusing too much on my single piece.
we're all different shapes and sizes.
we all have different patterns.
we're all incomplete by ourselves.
but when we come together, we make a masterpiece.
i was reading my Bible the other night and came across this verse:
"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." -Ephesians 2:10
how many times have i read this verse and it not come alive?!
i am His masterpiece!
i have a purpose.
but even still, if i'm living here to serve myself and to live for my own gain without giving or sharing with others, then i have missed the point.
as Christians, we are the BODY of Christ, made up of different parts (1 Corinthians 12).
just like a puzzle, we are different.
but we are needed.
i had a kairos moment with the Lord a couple weeks ago about this.
i am needed.
i can sit here and wait for someone to come along to give me what i need, but if i am not willing to step out and to step up and be that person, then i am not living to my full potential.
i am needed.
maybe by lots of people.
i'm not sure.
but like the widow with oil (read 2 Kings 4:1-7 - no, really, do it), i have not much, but i am going to pour out what i do have so that the Lord will multiply it. but if i'm not willing to pour, nothing will ever be multiplied.
i am going to step and serve when i can.
i am going to connect people with the Lord and disciple them.
i am going to pray with those who need prayer.
i don't know what my piece of the puzzle looks like.
but i know i am needed.
i know that i have a purpose.
without me, there is a hole.