Monday, May 6, 2013

experiencing provision.

inspiration: the affirmation of God's call for me.

preparing for Kenya has been an up-and-down journey.
these last few weeks have been especially roller-coaster-ish.

i knew that God had called me to go this year. a couple years ago, the seed was planted. it wasn't ready to be harvested last year, but at the beginning of this year while i was doing the daniel fast, it was confirmed that i would be going this year.

but i didn't know how.

i prayed and talked to my supervisor at work. he graciously approved. one obstacle down.
and then came the meetings.
and sending out letters.
and e-mails.
enemy attacks began.
several people in my family rejected the idea of me going.
i was questioned about my involvement in my own community and it was really difficult.

but fast-forwarding a couple months, at a meeting three weeks ago now, i had raised around $1300. that's amazing. then the bomb was dropped. "everyone should have $2000 by may 4th so we can get tickets." may  4th was in two weeks. how was i going to do that?! it seemed really impossible.

i prayed, crunched numbers, try to scramble to figure out how God was going to provide.
i threw several pity parties and had a lot of doubt.
but God knew what He was doing.

after posting on facebook, several more donations came in. holden and his family donated.
a door opened for me to have a yard sale without having to plan or organize anything. all i had to do was load up a truck full of stuff from my storage unit and show up.
i had a fundraiser at TCBY which i completely feel like God's favor was on.
a friend asked me to help do some data entry work so that i could get a little extra money.
i got a raise at work!
God completely came through.

after calculating and adding, it became apparent that God had provided $800! this doesn't even count the TCBY fundraiser or the extra money from data entry.

it was just a complete reminder that God will always provide.
and it was an affirmation that God wants me to go on this trip - to really live out the Great Commission and make his name known. i had quietly rationalized that if money didn't come through that it was a sign i wasn't supposed to go. but God blew through that "sign" and now, i'm down to needing $1000 to go.

this two-week span was also a reminder of God's grace.
i did not deserve any of it.
i was a whiner (secretly).
and a worrier (not-so-secret).
i've been trying to play God (worrying and planning)
rather than trusting God.

it's been a crazy journey and the trip hasn't even begun.
i've had seeds of doubt planted, fears of insecurity and being ill-equipped. but God quickly rooted them out. God has given me a story to share and a heart for these people that i haven't even met yet.
i still need funds and then extra for gear. but God provided in 2 weeks almost the amount he provided in 2 months. He owns cattle on a thousand hills, He knows my heart and my fears, and as long as I am walking in obedience to what He is calling me to do, i know that His favor will be poured out on me.

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