Sunday, March 10, 2013

finding fulfillment.

inspiration: ecclesiastes 3:1

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens.
-ecclesiastes 3:1
i have the most amazing boyfriend ever.
i know everyone says that about whomever they're dating.
but in my eyes, mine is the most amazing.
we are the perfect embodiment of "opposites attact"
i'm 4'11". he's 6'5" (that's an 18-inch height difference, just FYI)
i have a computer science degree with a concentration in web development (software)
he's pursuing his electrical engineering degree (hardware)
i'm a Type-A to the core; he's laid-back and plans as he goes.
i hate confrontation and conflict; he loves rocking the boat.

tomorrow, we will have been dating (officially) for one year, although, friends will probably say we've been exclusive for longer than that. but only now am i really understanding what healthy communication looks like for me. i'm learning to open up about hard things. for an introvert and a non-boat-rocker, this is huge.

about a month ago, i confessed to having issues with a person that he is very close to. we're working through that and i'm praying for a less tense relationship with this person.

two weekends ago, i had to admit something that was bothering me. and i couldn't pinpoint it. over mexican food, i told him that i felt like something was missing from my life. i thought it was from our relationship and i confessed that i wanted a stronger spiritual relationship with him.

but last week, i had the realization that something wasn't missing in my relationship with holden. it was missing in my relationship with God. i called holden to talk through a battle that was raging in my head. after a few minutes, he said "i think you have too much on your plate. you want to serve God in all these ways [theWell, theMix, serving at the dream center], but you can't find enjoyment in any of them."

last weekend, at Seacoast, josh walters gave a sermon about rest: the importance of the Sabbath and the necessity of finding time to rest.
a timely sermon for sure: a life full of good things doesn't equal a great life. and busyness doesn't equate to godliness.

in any given week, i'll attend anywhere from 2-4 church services.
i'll serve in 2-4 ministries.
i'll have plans 3-5 nights a week.
my schedule is full of good things. but none of them are filling me.

i made time last weekend to really rest and to turn my "work brain" off and im taking time today to do the same. and after hearing holden's advice, i began praying to find my fulfillment in the right places. i recognize i'm in a season of pruning, but that cutting out some things in my life in order to make more room for the things God is calling me to do will lead to a life filled to the fullest. today, i spent time away from everything and everyone and read God's word, prayed, talked to a close friend and prayed for her. i finally created a healthy balance for myself and finally took a true Sabbath for two weekends and i finally feel content.

i've realized that my contentment and fulfillment must be in GOD FIRST.
i can't find complete contentment in my relationship with holden, which was my struggle two weeks ago.
and i can't find complete contentment in my relationship with God if i'm too busy to make time for Him, which i've learned this weekend.

what about you?
do you need to find your contentment and fulfillment in Christ?
do you need to prune things out of your life?
do you need to intentionally "turn off" and spend time with God?
i did.

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