Sunday, February 24, 2013

dear nineteen year old self.

inspiration: a few weeks until another birthday.

so i have a birthday coming up in a few weeks (5 weeks + 1 day, to be exact). but i've had it on my mind recently to blog about what the last five years have looked like for me. there are things i wish i knew, things i had paid attention to, choices i would've made differently had i known...

so here it is.
a letter to my nineteen year old self.
a reflection of what i wish i had known back then.

dear nineteen year old self.

this blog comes to you nearly five years in the future.
right now, you're in clarksville, but don't get too attached...in a few years, you'll be in charleston, south carolina. you'll be blown away by how much God has blessed you.

speaking of which, that guy you're dating. he won't be the reason you're in charleston.
nineteen year old self, you're going to experience pain. hard pain.
the kind that takes years to heal.
choices were made that fared poorly for you both, in the short term. but long term, you'll come to realize that it was all part of God's plan. His plan to prosper and not to harm you.

Jeremiah 29:11 - you don't know it now, but you'll come to treasure that Scripture in your heart forever, along with Romans 8:28. you'll make decisions this year that you will regret, but don't worry, God's unconditional love heals all wounds! His mercies are made new every day and in a few years, you'll come to understand what this truly means.

you're going to experience heartache. that guy you're dating - as much as you want him to, he won't fill you. he won't complete you. he will only tear you down. but don't worry, in five years, you will have met someone who, again, won't complete you, but will complement you in every way possible.

he's the tall to your short.
he's the sine to your cosine.
he will sweep you off your feet and fill your heart with joy.

he won't come when you expect it.
he will actually come when you don't want him to.
but he will pursue you and fight for the relationship.
you're going to have arguments and struggles, but it will be in a healthy way.

in terms of life, get pumped because you'll become quite the daredevil and free-spirit.
you'll skydive (after heartbreak).
you'll serve...with kids...and love it! (shocking, i know!)
you'll have friends. not just surface-level ones, but ones that value your friendship.
and when you get a chance, spend every moment you can with them. you'll live a parking lot away from one another, but don't take it for granted. ever.

you'll travel.
you'll move.
you'll learn to love vegetables.
you'll even get a tattoo!

you can't even begin to imagine the pain you'll experience this year, but without it, you won't be able to appreciate just how happy you will be in five years. more than anything, you'll know exactly who you were meant to be: a daughter of God. you may think you understand it now, but you won't, nineteen year old self. you think you know what you want in life, but don't settle. let go and let God! that's the only way you'll make it to where you are in five years. don't try to reason or logic your way through everything i wrote, it is only by the grace and hand of God.

see you in five years, nineteen year old self.
you'll be amazed just how blessed you are!

p.s. the big bang theory is still airing and you still love sitting on the floor.

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