Friday, November 30, 2012

mustard seed faith and a Type-A personality

inspiration: having faith the size of a mustard seed and a Type-A personality makes me feel bipolar sometimes.

if you look up Type-A personality in a textbook, dictionary, Google, whatever form of reference you'd like, you will likely see my picture right beside it. i'm a control freak and i like solving problems. i'm a web developer for a small company that is growing every year and i manage their sales database. so when the company grows, so does my job. but the fact that i'm a control freak and a problem solver is a winning combination.

but here's Matthew 17:20 after Christ casts out a demon that his disciples could not:
He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."


when i read this story, i see an amazing miracle - Christ healing when the disciples couldn't.
but i also see myself in this story - the disciple who couldn't.

right now, i'm in a season where God is calling me to take a step back from my Type-A tendencies to solve problems. i'm in a tight financial spot right now and trying to do what i can to make ends meet, cutting back expenses, selling things, etc. and the fact that i'm still struggling to stretch the minuscule amount in my checking account another week, i'll be straight: i'm freaking the heck out! there have been a handful of opportunities to make some extra money (that were of my accord) that have fallen through and i know distinctly it's because i'm trying to do it on my own instead of praying through this situation and relying on Christ: i'm trying to cast out a demon that only Jesus can cast out.

but last night, i went to a small group with The Mix and was encouraged by new faces and new stories of how God has worked in their lives.

it really encouraged me to step out and to trust in the Lord.
i'm encouraged and empowered to leave my Type-A personality in my cubicle at work and to live my life based on faith the size of a mustard seed. not going to lie, i'm scared to death.

i know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, though. but i know that in this situation, i must pray through what God is doing in my life. i must take a step back, "let go and let God". i'm not in control, He is.


are you struggling to step back and give God control?

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