Sunday, October 9, 2011

this is the story of a girl....

inspiration: a lot can happen in two years...

in december of 2009, i started this blog.
to share the thoughts of a girl who thought she had it all together.
who thought she was "good enough" to get by.
who thought she knew what she wanted.
but had a humbling experience in a relationship that changed her life forever.

i wish that relationship had been Christ, but it wasn't. although, that came later.

i realized about half an hour ago that on this night two years ago (although, it wasn't necessarily the right date, but it was a Sunday night in October), my ex-boyfriend broke up with me. thus beginning a journey that began down a path that seemed to for a brief period of time seemed to lead toward depression, but instead turned into a path of grace, mercy, and discovery of the true meaning of what being a Christ-follower looked like.

i don't want to focus too much on the cause of the transformation that occurred, as that is kind of a lame and depressing story. instead, i want to focus on what truly matters: grace.

dealing with a breakup is rarely easy.
in my life, it's never been easy. in fact, i don't even have to be in a relationship to get heartbroken.
but i will say this: i wish that no one had to experience them.
i wish that no one has to experience the pain that i dealt with.
i didn't deal with it very well at all, in fact. but the fact that God still turned that horrible absolutely sucky situation around to be used for my good is totally and completely amazing.

His grace is truly sufficient for us if we accept it.
God will always use our pain to draw us closer to Him.
If you ever feel like you're "unworthy", "unfit", and "undeserving" of grace, join the club, but be ready to have your world rocked because He will use you in ways you could never imagine!

looking back at where i was then compared to where God has brought me since, all i can say is WOW!!
if you've never read the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15, do it.
this was me.
but God was there waiting for me with open arms.
rejoicing when i returned to Him.

the blogs i wrote (at least the ones i remember) when Faith Overflow first began are full of sorrow and despair and at many times regret; but i know that in a lot of them, there was also the expression of hope - knowing that even though my heart ached with regret from past decisions, that i knew that God was going to continue to work strongly in my life.

and two years later, i can say with certainty that He does.
Romans 8:28 is like the testament to the last two years for me.

God truly uses all things (not just the good things, but even the beyond sucky things) for the good of those who love Him and are called to His purposes.

never discount the power of God.
He is always with us in times of need.
even when we push Him away and try to do things our own way, He will be there.

we may think we're good writers.
some of us may even be.
but we'll never be as good as the Author of the Universe.
but two years ago, i fell on my face, sobbing on my bathroom floor (true story, it was quite pathetic) and cried out "I'm done, God! Do what You want! Just take this pain away!"

selfishly, i cried out.
humbly, i accepted His grace.
boldly, i retell this story every chance i get.
because i am the prodigal son. God is my father who awaited me with open arms. and the power of His grace and love is amazing.

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