Friday, June 3, 2011

my caveat for Christianity.

inspiration: experiencing the true POWER of God.

I'm a pretty organized, control-freak of a person.
I like order.
I like knowing what to expect.
I like predictability.
I like comfort.

So here's my caveat about true Christianity and being a Christ-follower:

You're not in control.
You don't get to call the shots.
You're not gonna know what to expect.
It's certainly not predictable.
And it's definitely not comfortable.

But when you truly surrender everything to God.
And I mean everything (see above where I said it wouldn't be comfortable), there is nothing God can't do in and through you.

So why would you want to believe the words of a simple, independent, nerd-to-the-core 22 year old?

Because earlier tonight, I found myself looking up mission trips I could take between Christmas and New Years. Because I began wondering how I could alter my finances in order to make a trip to Washington and a trip to Alaska happen this year all in an effort to step out of my comfort zone and to step up in order to share the Gospel.

Why does this matter?

Because for a long time, I feared giving up control of my life to God. I was afraid that I would be entrenched in this realm of legalism and rules. I was afraid that truly surrendering meant wrapping myself in a straightjacket of "thou shalt nots". And in holding back, I was missing out on everything God had to offer me. I tried to surround myself in a bubble of comfort. It wasn't Christ that was holding me back. It was me.

After all, it's called CHRISTianity.
Not Nikkianity.

It's not about me.
I am nothing without Him.
It's not about how good I am.
There is nothing good in me apart from Christ.

Christ transforms.
Christ changes.
He changes hearts and lives.
He is in the process of transforming my former predictable life into something unpredictable and radically abandoned to Him.
I'm not sure what he has planned for me.
And whether Washington and Alaska are in my future this year or not, I will follow the words of Luke and deny myself, take up my cross and follow Him daily.

"In his heart, a man plans his course,
But the Lord determines His steps." (Proverbs 16:9)

When we try to do things our way, we miss out on the freedom found only in Christ and abandoning our lives to Him.

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