Tuesday, May 17, 2011

moments of insignificance.

inspiration: being quickly reminded that i am only a speck in the grand scheme of things.

i'm a very competitive person.
i like a challenge.
i rarely back down.
which is funny because i am also very non-confrontational.
i don't know how that works, but somehow it does.

but i recently joined the company soccer team.
last week i scored a goal, which felt amazing.
but tonight was different.
we were literally Davids versus Goliaths, not in the sense of size, but in the sense of skill.

we didn't have our normal goalkeeper.
our best player (who is also our boss) was in the goal for about 7 minutes, then got injured when he was down trying to make a save and got kicked. he dislocated his finger and it was pretty gross looking :(
so after he left, we had no subs.
it didn't help matters that the team we were playing against was really good. and i mean, really good. another team member made the comment that they should've been in the next division of the league, but chose to stay in this one so they could quote-on-quote "dominate" our division.
and they did.

it was quite discouraging because when our teammate got injured, we were down by 6 points already.
in my opinion, some humility should've been shown by the other team.
but they continued not only to dominate, but continued to gloat.
it was incredibly frustrating to me and i became a bit more aggressive on the field (granted, i do have a slight size disadvantage on almost all fronts and i'm not very good at soccer). i kicked a little harder, i shoulder-shoved a little more when i was trying to make a steal. and it was pretty much all in vain because i was outsized, outskilled, and dead-tired from running around the entire time. the game was called at 15-0. and i was pretty furious.

...as i left the field, i was frustrated because the other team displayed their pride and arrogance both on and off the field; we know you're better than us, we know you dominated the game. no need to pour lemon juice in our eyes. our pride and our bodies were pretty much drained already.

i got home, vented on facebook, and then decided to go to walmart.
as i was driving to walmart, i missed my exit because i was still venting my frustration in my head. but when i got off at the next exit to turn around, i noticed the sunset.
beautiful.
gorgeous colors.
i made a detour to try to find a good spot to take a picture of it, but was unsuccessful.

but seeing that reminded me how insignificant i am.
how insignificant the soccer game was.
how insignificant my frustration was.

James 4:13-15
"Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes."

we are like a mist.
in the grand scheme of things, we are specks.

granted, we are specks that are called to rise up to greatness in the Kingdom.
but our worries, our plights, our frustrations, and our troubles are nothing!
they mean nothing.
they're insignificant.

it was pretty stupid of me to get so worked up about a stupid soccer game.
i don't want my life to be defined by my moments of insignificance.
instead, i want to be reflecting the heart of God in order to make the Kingdom significant.
i did a horrible job of doing that at the game, but creation humbled me once again.

this picture was actually from yesterday, but beautiful nonetheless.

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