Sunday, May 8, 2011

identity: found.

inspiration: finding my true identity in Christ.

a few nights ago, i talked to my friends Jason and Kerby down in Costa Rica. kerby made a comment about my "spunkiness" (which I do have a lot of these days). but it got me thinking about the reality of the matter:

i haven't always been the "Crazy Asian" or "The Little Asian That Could".
i didn't acquire my sense of adventure and my confidence until about a year or so ago.

and i realized over the weekend that it was because i found my identity -- my TRUE identity -- in Christ.

all the ups and downs in our lives can somehow be attributed to how we view ourselves and where our identities lie:

in early elementary school, my identity was found puzzle books and Gameboy games. i was super shy, very introverted and constantly in my own world (much like the Super Mario worlds that i dominated!)

late elementary school, i played soccer for a while and was a tomboy in the extreme.

middle school shaped the social life that i retained for several years: awkward asian.

in high school, i became a work-aholic and a studying maniac. i was nerdy in the extreme (whiter than sour cream, i was in AV club and glee club and even the chess team -- okay, not really. that was weird al).

early college, my identity became wrapped up in a relationship.

and it wasn't until i lost my identity that i truly found it.
in Christ!

it took many months to accept the grace that was extended to me. but i stand here firmly proclaiming that my life is not my own!

it's not about what i do.
it's not about where i live.
it's not about where i work.

it's about who i'm living for.

i was never bold and adventurous and "spunky" before because i was afraid of what people thought of me. but now, i live confidently:

1. loving myself because God made me!
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. --Psalm 139:14-15"

i was reminded a couple nights ago by my friend Kels that i can't compare myself to other people because God made me me. everything that i am is because He made me this way.

2. knowing that this world is NOT my home

3. taking risks to proclaim my faith and love for Christ.

i was 20-almost-21 when i finally figured out what it meant to die to myself in order to gain Christ and ever since, i've refused to live another day with my identity tied to something else. for years and years, i struggled to live confidently and proud of myself because i always wanted something "more". but i've found my reward and my identity in Christ and i can honestly say that i've never been more confident and joyful :)

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