Tuesday, April 12, 2011

round two.

inspiration: i need to be more intentional and dedicated to my time with Christ.

i decided last night to do another Facebook fast.
this time, it will probably only be for a couple days. maybe until after theWell on Thursday.

there are certain people that have become "idols" in my heart and having easy access via Facebook makes it harder to fully give up control over them. the time has come once again where i have to truly face the facts and accept that God has blessed me with this season of singleness for a purpose.

truth be told, i'm probably better off remaining single than by being in a relationship.
i am free to do what i want -- be it go on an adventure in charleston (or wherever i please), travel out of the country, serve where i want to serve -- there are no attachments holding me back.
truth be told, i'm probably happier single. i love being around friends and i won't deny that i would love to have the companionship of a significant other; but i also know that i get a lot of energy from being by myself. right now, i have a plethora of time alone.

but with that being said, i'm also frustrated that i haven't spent my alone time truly seeking God's wisdom. i've been spending my alone time trying to convince God that i know who my future husband is and listing out reasons why He should bless me. (i'm sure i have Jesus in stitches, telling Him about all the plans i have for myself)...wow, talk about selfish. who am i to try and tell God what to do?!

last night at small group, one of the girls brought up the fact that we are in a relationship with Jesus Christ. we have to guard our hearts and let Him pursue us and love us.

Proverbs 4:23 is one of my favorite verses: "Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life."

and something i always have to remember: if i want to attract a man pursuing Christ, I have to be pursuing Christ.

i can't pursue Christ if i'm trying to control Him.
i can't pursue Him if i'm spending more time on Facebook than i am in His Word.
i can't pursue Him if i don't trust in His plans for me.

so round two.
ready or not.
i'm logging off.

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