Wednesday, March 2, 2011

I gotta be honest....

Inspiration: gotta get some monkeys off my back...

Okay, I've gotta be straight.
I don't know why I'm here...(Charleston, that is...)
I'm not where I want to be...emotionally, spiritually, mentally, financially, anything...

First off, let me just say this: I'm incredibly blessed!
I am thankful for everything I have, but it's honestly not enough...

I like my job. But I'm not in love with it.
It doesn't make me as happy as I wish it did.
If anything, it stresses the mess out of me. Sure, I'm still learning, but with every new project and responsibility, I feel like a fish out of water...floundering like a ... well, fish out of water...

I had hoped peace would come, but it hasn't.
The stress comes and it hasn't seemed to subside much.

Yes, it's a wonderful job.
Yes, it's a wonderful company.
Yes, it's a wonderful place - Charleston!
Yes, it pays the bills with money left over for adventures.

But if I'm not at peace, what do the adventures and money mean? Certainly, not happiness.

So what do i do now??
Maybe, this is just a phase God is using to strengthen me...maybe it's not...
All I know is I'm tired of faking peace and happiness I don't have...

No comments:

Post a Comment