Tuesday, March 8, 2011

being still.

inspiration: i have spiritual ADD

if you know me at all, you probably know that i'm always doing something.
working. running. going on some sort of adventure. reading. blogging.
very rarely am i just sitting and being still.

i thrive on having a "schedule" and knowing what i need to do.
but lately, it's been super hard on me.
if you're a close friend, you probably know that my transition into my job has been very rough on me and the pinnacle of the rollercoaster occurred last friday when i called my mom up at 4AM having a nervous breakdown.

this weekend was nice because i had friends in town and i was able to spend time with them and we were too busy for me to worry about anything except where we parked downtown.

but they just left and the emptiness and nervousness of going to work is creeping in.
i have tons of thoughts running through my mind right now.
what i have to do at work.
what i need to do when i get home.

my "friend shield" is gone.
i don't have the luxury of coming home and seeing faces of friends from home.
i now have piles of laundry, dishes, bills.
welcome back to the real world.

as a cumulative whole, since i've been in Charleston, i've experienced a lot of God's amazing power! but lately, i haven't. i feel like ever since my Facebook Fast two weeks ago, i have been a spiritual slacker. i haven't been able to just sit and relax and to be still in His presence. i've been too worried about me, me, me, me, me.

i need prayer.
i need to just know how much He desperately loves me.
i need to just sit still and meditate on How powerful He is.
i just need to be still.

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