Monday, February 14, 2011

romans 8:28

inspiration: i am a walking testament of Romans 8:28

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28

i love sharing my testimony with people and i shared my testimony with a couple of close friends last night and it felt amazing knowing where i was and to see how much Christ has truly molded me into who i am now. as i reflect on the last year or so of my life, i feel like i am a true testament of Romans 8:28.

my awkward years in middle and high school.
my first (and only) relationship and the eventual breakup.
moving away from everything comfortable.

all of these things, which were horrible and highly uncomfortable at the time, were part of a bigger plan - part of God's will for my life.

a year ago today, i was baptized. i truly became a new creation, in numerous ways. after battling self-esteem issues and borderline depression, i discovered God's unconditional and undying love for me.

i strived to be popular and failed at being truly accepted by my peers for a great portion of my life, despite playing soccer for three years, then cheering for three years. i never dated anyone in middle or high school. in fact, i've only been in one true relationship, one that was great for a short time, but slowly grew unstable and quickly became unhealthy for both parties. it ended in horrible heartache and i honestly didn't think i'd get over him.

but i did.
i slowly started giving the pieces of my shattered heart to Christ and He created something beautiful.

(today, i bought "Beautiful Things" by Gungor and i LOVE the song "Beautiful Things")
"You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of the dust. You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of us."

He has done such amazing things in my heart.
everything that happened between my ex and i helped shape me into the woman of Christ i am now. had i not experienced all the pain and heartache, i would've never experienced true grace and forgiveness and mercy.
i wouldn't know of His love for me had i not experienced the false love of a human.
had i not been treated so poorly as a girlfriend, woman, and person, i would never know how i deserve to be treated and how valued i am as His daughter.

...and right when i thought i knew what i wanted in my life and career, God opened other doors.
i wanted to pursue an internship with Southwest Airlines in Dallas.
i was qualified and ready for the challenge, but i didn't get it.
but in fact, circumstances and the amazing timing of God brought a person into my life that i wanted to pursue a friendship (and potentially a relationship) with. i thought i would settle into a job in Clarksville at APSU and still be with all my friends and near my family.
but God opened doors to Charleston.
i had to lay down my life of comfort and step up to the plate - follow the path God was laying before me, even though it meant leaving people i loved.

it was a hard and stressful situation, moving to charleston. it still is.
i'm still having to give up my desire for control and to let God be God and be the complete ruler of my life.
i miss my friends.
i miss my family.
i miss Grace Community Church and Grace Acres.
i wish i could go back and play some cards differently.

but i have to trust Him with everything.
i have to accept that everything must point back to HIM, not me. up, not in.
God is still working in me, but i know that it is for His glory and i am being used for His purposes, not my own. and that no matter what, it's for my own good.

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