Friday, February 18, 2011

facebook fast: day one.

inspiration: today has been an interesting day...

it's been interesting in both good and bad ways.
in a nutshell, today i...
  • got my first full paycheck - let's just say i did a very big happy dance!
  • saw my first South Carolina sunrise
  • found out a friend of mine got killed overseas while he was deployed
  • spent an entire day racking my head about a programming issue at work...still racking my brain

i realized last night and this morning, too, just how much i'm on facebook sheerly out of habit. last night when i got home from theWell and wrote my blog, i was like suffering withdrawals of facebook already. it was horrible!

when i got up this morning, it was especially hard, because i didn't have to run and that is my first instinct. wake up, check facebook. so instead, i researched some stuff for work (which i will address later) and decided i would go ahead and do my devotional readings since i was planning on spending my lunch hour at work in a lunch-and-learn meeting.

but as i was reading in my sunroom and looking out the window, i noticed the clouds were a bright pink! i looked at my watch...6:45...i could catch the sunrise. but i decided to finish my reading and then go. when i finished, i drove as quickly (but within legal limits) as i could down to the battery so i could see the sun come up. it was getting brighter outside the closer i got, but i was determined to see the colors before the sun got too high. and i did.

it was beautiful and marvelous!!

but i got to work this morning and i got two back-to-back messages from two different people notifying me that a friend from the past had died while he was deployed overseas. i sat in shock for literally about half an hour just wishing i had invested in him more while i knew him. although, i know he is at home with Jesus now and that puts my heart at ease a lot. my thoughts and prayers are with his family, for sure.

now, as far as the rest of my day is concerned, it was okay.
i'm still learning at my job and it's kind of frustrating not knowing as much as i feel like i should in this position, programming-wise, but i know that as time progresses, i'll become a better programmer and i'll get less frustrated at myself for not knowing things.

but i spent a great deal of time last night and this morning researching a way to fix an issue i was having at work. well, it turns out that it didn't go as expected. i spent almost all day researching and then writing and testing code. didn't work. research more. write more code. test. didn't work. finally, at about 3, i asked for help from one of the senior programmers and got part of it working. so, hopefully, monday morning, i can keep hammering away at it and get it working. definitely frustrating on that front.

as for the rest of my evening, i plan on watching last night's Big Bang Theory, reading The Hiding Place some more, paying some bills, budgeting, and who knows what else. i'm excited to be kicking off this fast decently.

i want so desperately to experience the love and strength of Christ this week. i KNOW that i am consumed by facebook and it makes me weaker - it's like a ball and chain i want to break free from. i don't want to be "dependent" on it anymore! it's a great way to keep up with everyone back home, but i don't NEED to be as attached to it as i am.

i pray that God will fill me with Himself this week and that when i make my return to facebook, it will no longer be with the obsessive attitude that i have. in addition to my devotional, i also read Psalm 18:

"As for God, his way is perfect;
the word of the Lord is flawless.
He is a shield
for all who take refuge in him.
For who is God besides the Lord?
And who is the Rock except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.

-Psalm 18:30-32

it is God who is going to comfort me this week.
it is God's strength that will flow through me.
it is on God's path that i want to walk.

MOM UPDATE: She is still on the ventilator and will be for at least another 18 hours, according to Dad. He said she seemed to be doing a little better, but has a lot of tubes and stuff. I know it's hard for him to see her like that and I hate that I can't be there to comfort him, too. But all of this is for a purpose. Romans 8:28.

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