Monday, February 28, 2011

out of my hands.

inspiration: I'm not in control.

I need to realize that everything happens for a reason. Every single thing has a time and a purpose. On God's timetable, everything happens at the precise perfect time.

It's out of my hands, my worries will never speed up or hinder the process. I need desperately to trust God and to give up my burdens to Him.

I pray that God will speak to me over these next few days and that my heart will be surrendered to Him. I've been very foolish and selfish lately and I feel like my guards need to come down. I desire to be broken down and built back up with Christ's love, mercy, and strength.

My life is not my own.
Why bother trying to make it about me?
I should be serving and making my life an outpouring for Christ's name.
I'm not in control.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Not a label. More like a light.

inspiration: this road trip is giving me time to process life.

So I'm sitting in Cracker Barrel reflecting on some thoughts I've been processing through over the first half of my 9-hour trek to surprise my parents.

One thing I pondered was last night's sermon at theWell about being the dangerous church. It was focused mostly on the "big-C" Church, but I took a lot away from it on a more personal level.

What will my eternal impact be as a member of the body of Christ? I'm not content to just wear a label that says "Christian".I'm not content just going to church. I'm not content to just be a number. I'm not willing to sit back and let others shine for Jesus while I live a comfortable, safe-in-my-own-little-box life.

I want to BE the church.
I want to serve my brothers and sisters.
I want to be more than a label. I want to be a LIGHT!
I want my life to mean more to others than it does to me.
...and I challenge us all as a part of the "big-C" Church - the true body of Christ to be willing to rip off our labels of "Christian" that say "I go to church" and start shining with the glory and light of Christ to say "I AM the Church! I shine for Christ!"

I don't know what all this will look like for me and I don't know what it will look like for you. All I know is that we were all meant to shine like stars for Christ (see Philippians 2:15) and we can't do that if we're content to sit back and wear a label rather than being what our label is supposed to represent.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

fast is over. now to live dangerously.

inspiration: technically, i shouldn't have ended my fast until tomorrow, but hey....

so my facebook fast is over.
it's awesome to be back on it, but at the same time, it's different. i was excited to post my statuses and respond to comments and to all the prayer responses that were made. but i truly have no desire to start reading people's statuses.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

something to be thankful for.

inspiration: give thanks always.

it's been a rough week, physically, spiritually, mentally, and especially emotionally.
but to keep things lighthearted this evening, i want to list a few things that i'm thankful for.

Monday, February 21, 2011

the guard's coming down.

inspiration: i. need. prayer.

i've been denying (to myself) the fact that i need prayer. when people have been saying "i'm praying for you and your family", i think to myself "don't pray for me; pray for my mom. she's the one in the hospital. she's the one who needs healing!"

but i'm just gonna come out and say it. i DO need prayer.
i need healing, too! from past sin, guilt, and shame, especially in regard to my relationship with my mom.
i need forgiveness! for wrongful frustration, anger, and resentment towards her.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

facebook fast: day three -- it's not about rules.

inspiration: something i've already realized during the course of my facebook fast.

Christianity is not merely legalism and morality -- legalism and morality take away our joy. It's allowing Christ's righteousness to replace our unrighteousness -- GRACE brings joy!

(a tweet/FB status I posted last Sunday)

i almost find it ironic that i posted that last weekend, yet this weekend, i'm having to swallow my words and accept it as truth -- i need to start living out what i say, truly, to the T.

In Process

Inspiration: Today's Sermon at Seacoast

I'm sitting in the Harris Teeter parking lot, killing time waiting for Gilligan's to open so I can have my Sunday seafood outing, so hopefully this post will make sense. Also, it's coming from my phone, so hopefully it won't look terrible. But today's sermon inspired me, especially during my time of fasting, so I wanted to put this out there before I forget what I want to say...


Saturday, February 19, 2011

facebook fast: day two -- my day in photos

inspiration: i've gotten the reputation of taking pictures of random things. so i thought i'd document my day in photos.

Friday, February 18, 2011

facebook fast: day one.

inspiration: today has been an interesting day...

it's been interesting in both good and bad ways.
in a nutshell, today i...
  • got my first full paycheck - let's just say i did a very big happy dance!
  • saw my first South Carolina sunrise
  • found out a friend of mine got killed overseas while he was deployed
  • spent an entire day racking my head about a programming issue at work...still racking my brain

Thursday, February 17, 2011

facebook fast.

inspiration: my first "fast".

i, honestly, don't know very much about fasting.
prior to moving to charleston, i really hadn't heard anything about it.
but when i started going to seacoast, they were finishing up a 21 day fast and it seems like since ive been here, i can't stop hearing about it!

in fact, my BFF brookeulus was praying about fasting about a week ago. i led her to Seacoast's page about fasting since she had inquired about it, but i didn't really give any thought to doing it myself.

Monday, February 14, 2011

romans 8:28

inspiration: i am a walking testament of Romans 8:28

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28

i love sharing my testimony with people and i shared my testimony with a couple of close friends last night and it felt amazing knowing where i was and to see how much Christ has truly molded me into who i am now. as i reflect on the last year or so of my life, i feel like i am a true testament of Romans 8:28.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

now THATS true love.

inspiration: Valentine's Day is Monday.

Monday marks the one year anniversary of my baptism :) I may be single on Valentine's day again, but this is the 2nd Valentine's day that i know what TRUE LOVE really is!! :) ♥♥♥ Jesus loves me, this I know - because He bore the cross to redeem me from sin so that I may know what the word "love" really means.

(my facebook status)

Here are a couple of blogs I wrote last year expressing my thoughts about Valentine's day:
Valentine's Day Baptism
My thoughts on Valentine's Day

i don't think i know i don't have as deep of a disdain towards Valentine's Day like i did last year (i was still pretty broken down and wounded last year), and Christ has shown me the true meaning of love. but it's still really hard to be patient about finding an earthly love.

Friday, February 11, 2011

hold unswervingly.

inspiration: Hebrews 10:23

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." -Hebrews 10:23

according to, to hope means to look forward and have reasonable confidence in.
we often hope FOR things, be it money, cars, relationships, happiness, whatever it is...
but we are ultimately called to hold out hope IN Christ. and not only with "reasonable confidence" but in TOTAL FAITH!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

humility: i need it.

inspiration: "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." (Proverbs 11:2)

i know there are days that if you opened up the dictionary to the word "pride", my face would be right beside it. i spent about 3 hours looking at code (not all at once, thank goodness) that i couldn't get to work, but after about 30 minutes, i should've just sucked it up and asked for help. but it was such a "little" problem, that i feared looking retarded if i couldn't get it to work.

but finally, i just broke down and asked one of the other programmers for help.
and let me tell you, he fixed the issues i was having in less than 10 minutes.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

without complaining...

inspiration: "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life -- in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing." (Philippians 2:14-16)

"Do everything without complaining or arguing" (Phil 2:14)
...yeah, i'm not doing so hot with that.
just yesterday, in fact, i was complaining to my best friend about being single.
i lamented on my blog about how much i was wrestling with my season of singleness.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

for those who wait.

inspiration: my hardest battle.

patience may be a virtue.
but it's the hardest battle i fight.

for "life" to start.

it's like a constant battle. especially in relationships (in case the presence on the list three times wasn't clue enough).

Friday, February 4, 2011

never in my life...

inspiration: i bought Anchorman.

i now own 3 Will Ferrell movies. it doesn't seem like that big of a deal.
but it is. i feel i can no longer refer to myself as a "Will Ferrell"-hater.
never in my life did i think this day would come...

shout out to an unsung hero

inspiration: thinking about a person who has truly made an impact in my life whether they realize how substantial or not.

there is a person i was thinking about this morning who has had a great impact in my life, even though we really haven't known each other for very long. this person is an amazing leader and i love hearing and reading about how God is using them for His ministry. God brought this person into my life right at the perfect time and it amazes me to think about how only God could've worked everything out so intricately and perfectly. their heart and passion to lead others to Christ overwhelms me. they're a dreamer and they know nothing is too big or too small for God to handle and i admire that so much about them. i'm more of a follower - give me something to do and i'll do it - but seeing this person's heart for leadership inspires me. unfortunately, now that i'm in charleston, i won't ever get to see this person or talk to them as often as i'd like to, but i still think about them and i pray that God will continue to use them to advance His kingdom! and i know God definitely will do some incredible things in and through them.

my prayer is that each one of us will reach out to one another and encourage one another in Christ. :)

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

first wednesday.

inspiration: it's the first wednesday of the month. seacoast church hosts a huge "First Wednesday" service.

so Seacoast does this First Wednesday "thing" and i decided to try it out tonight. i even drove to the main campus in Mount Pleasant -- about 20 minutes from where i live -- to check it out. i was blown away by the church. i haven't worshiped in a formal "church building" in over 3 years (if you count the fact that i didn't attend church regularly the latter part of middle or high school, we're talking almost 8 years!). but so far, i like it. but i couldn't believe how many people were there to worship and how big it was.

but building and people aside, i wasn't sure what to expect. the first hour was pure worship. it was pretty awesome. and then the guest speaker, Matthew Barnett, author of The Cause Within You, spoke. he was very enthusiastic and a very dynamic speaker - kept you awake and engaged, for sure!!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

"your hole's off!"

inspiration: a Costa Rica memory and having the wrong perspective today.

"Your hole's off!"

This quote will either make you laugh or make you go, "uh, what!"
If you're a normal person, it will be the latter.
But if you're a Foxy Fencer (plus Steve), you know what I'm talking about...