"Few things have the power to make us feel as sorry for ourselves as has loneliness."
-Passion & Purity, 116.
i began reading Passion & Purity by Elisabeth Elliot on the way to Costa Rica and i sat down today and finished it. i must say, i admire Elisabeth & Jim Elliot in their pursuit of Christ first and foremost in their love lives and romance. later, Jim was killed for professing his faith and Elisabeth stayed to continue to lead the peoples who killed her husband toward Christ.
a strong and admirable woman, elisabeth also was very vulnerable in sharing her thoughts with readers. i found myself walking in the same shoes she once walked. i know i'm not alone in my feelings of loneliness and singleness, and i'm also empowered and strengthened by the promises of God's providence of a husband, if marriage is in His plans for me.
but i know that God is calling me to a season of singleness for His glory; i've realized that sometimes being "unattached" makes it much easier to serve God: for instance, i've been blessed with a job 2 states away and i fully intend on demonstrating a life of faith in my job (even if it doesn't mean outright evangelizing necessarily, i know that He has worked everything out for His purposes, and maybe in my walk, others will come to see the Gospel revealed through me...) and i was also blessed to be able to go on my first missions trip overseas and being a part of the hands and feet of Jesus, serving in Costa Rica.
not to say that neither one of those circumstances would've been hindered by a significant other, but it certainly allowed me more flexibility.
"Patient waiting does not come naturally to most of us, but a great deal is said about it in the Bible. It is an important discipline for anyone who wants to learn trust" (60).
"God knew that giving me Jim when I wanted him would not provide the far more important training I needed for things to come. It was in learning to eat that Living Bread, sufficient always for one day at a time ... that I was disciplined and prepared for later things" (114).
"God's ultimate plan was as far beyond our imaginings as the oak tree is from the acorn's imaginings. The acorn does what it was made to do, without pestering its Maker with questions about when and how and why. We who have been given an intelligence and a will and a whole range of wants that can be set against the divine Pattern of Good are asked to believe Him. We are given the chance to trust Him when He says to us, '...if any man will let himself be lost for my sake, he will find his true self.'" (165-166)
i want to wait for God's best for me.
i want to trust in His plans for me.
i want to for JESUS CHRIST to be enough for me until the right day comes for Him to reveal the one He has planned for me.
faith is not built easily.
we must endure trials, hardships, loneliness.
we must clothe ourselves in Christ's love and know that even if we are called to singleness, that we will be completely fulfilled with Him.
"For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, because we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen." -2 Corinthians 4:17-18
waiting is always worth it.
chasing temporary pleasures and temporary relationships will never fill us.
only drinking the Living Water will we be satisfied. by immersing ourselves in the Word and allowing our hearts to be filled with the Holy Spirit will we ever be TRULY satisfied.
i'm not saying this because i want to be single.
but only when i am filled with Christ will a relationship be as special as it could possibly be.
why would i settle for a sugar cube when i could have an entire cake?!?!
"waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one's thoughts. It's easy to talk oneself into a decision that has no permanence - easier sometimes than to wait patiently" (61-62)
but as it says in Ecclesiastes:
"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:"
i want to be fulfilled wholly with Christ.
i want to know for sure, without a shadow of a doubt, that the next person i enter into a relationship with is THE one, not just some temporary, earthly relationship.
i want to wait for God's best for me.