Tuesday, January 18, 2011

living on a prayer.

inspiration: my first TRUE faith test in a long time.

i've never been so scared in my life.
i'm truly relying on God to come through for me.

as i sit in my living room floor (i have a perfectly good couch and three perfectly good chairs within 10 feet of me, yet i always choose the floor...), avoiding packing up my life, there is no doubt in my mind that God is wanting me to move to Charleston.

it's a new chapter of my life.
it's a new adventure.
it's a time to rely completely on Him.

i have so many friends.
a great church family.
and a whole lot of comfort.

there is no doubt in my mind that four years ago, when i was still debating on which college to attend, Clarksville was where God wanted me! it was truly meant to be. november 18, 2006, i believe was the first time i came to austin peay. and from the moment i stepped onto the campus of APSU, i KNEW it was where i was supposed to be.
and looking back, i was in the same circumstances i am now, only younger, more naive, and ultimately without a true dependence on Christ (i'm really not even sure if i was a true "Christian" back then or not...)

i was leaving my friends.
leaving my parents.
beginning a new chapter in my life.
...same as now.

i knew no one.
i knew nothing about clarksville.
i was driven by sheer willpower and determination.
...same as now.

but this time, i have FAITH (and a whole lot of bills to take care of).
this move is definitely a much more drastic step, in life AND in faith, than the high school to college transition.

as i sit in the floor now, i have laid out in my mind how i'm going to get from point A to point B and the plans i have for these next few days. but Proverbs 16:9 says, "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps", so i'm praying that if God has a different course for me to take, He will lead me down the course of wisdom rather than folly.

getting everything together and paying to start this journey will probably give me an ulcer and/or a migraine.
but i'm praying for friends to step up and support me in an incredibly difficult stage.
i'm praying for His strength.
i'm praying on God's providence for me.

i've been blessed immensely by family and friends who have, in their kindness, done small things to help me along the way. through all the encouraging words, all the meals, all the support, all the prayer, and for making me laugh and have a good time amidst the stresses of moving: i appreciate EVERYTHING.

i know these momentary stresses and struggles are nothing in the grand scheme of things. God is faithful and if He wants me in Charleston (which i have full confidence that He does), He will provide! but all the prayers and support are greatly needed, greatly appreciated, and will be greatly received!!

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