Monday, January 3, 2011

anxiety.

inspiration: my stubborn self. i would do really well to take the advice i give to others.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"
--Matthew 6:25-27

it's 11:30 on a Monday night.
i'm so very tired physically, but still running at about 150 mph mentally.
i need to learn how to slow. down. and. breathe.

i thrive on structure and activity.
i really don't know why. i guess i've just gotten so used to juggling multiple things that it's just become ingrained in me to just go.go.go.go.go.
i have a task. i work on ways to complete it in the most efficient and effective way possible. get it done. bam. move on to the next thing.

i also thrive on planning things.
like right now, here's what's on my mind.

  • to do tomorrow:
    • read devotional, Bible, Operation World
    • listen to Pinkner podcast
    • eat breakfast
    • go workout
    • haircut with Jennifer at 3
    • work
    • finish packing for Charleston
    • go to bed early!!
  • gotta be at the airport by 4:45 Wednesday AM
  • Charleston! Charleston! Charleston!
  • Costa Rica! Costa Rica! Costa Rica!
  • job! maybe. hopefully!
  • if i get the job...moving?? =/
  • what if i don't get the job?? :O
  • half-marathon training?!?!
  • not to mention i have "Grenade" by Bruno Mars stuck in my head...
i simply have too much going on.
i am a Type A, probably to an extreme level (and i'm just too stubborn to admit it).
i thrive on the expectations. but i also psych myself out. i need to learn how to just tune all the junk out and learn to relax.

i try and control things far too much.
i have a friend who is just super laid back in everything who would just literally have to tell me to calm down and relax. like a lot. it's not worth worrying about. it's not worth stressing over.
kinda wish i was like that.
just able to NOT be going.going.going.going.
i seriously need to just take his advice. and stop.

stop. trust. listen to God.

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." --Matthew 6:33-34

good night, world.
may you have peaceful dreams.
i'm going to force myself to relax and then join you in dreamland :)

No comments:

Post a Comment