in less than two weeks, i'll be going to Costa Rica on my first missions trip. and something that i really discounted happening has come upon me: spiritual attack.
Satan knows how to attack me.
to make me feel like i shouldn't go.
to make me feel like everything i do is a mistake.
he wants me to doubt God.
he wants me to rely on myself.
lately, i've been struggling with being at peace with God. i feel like i do nothing but mess things up that He has blessed me with. i've doubted myself and the abilities God has blessed me with. i try and try and try to "do better", but ultimately, it's not up to me! i realized on my way back to Clarksville (which, btw, i realize the time best spent with God is on the commute from Gallatin to Clarksville) that i've been relying on myself. i'm a control freak; i'm impatient; i'm selfish; i'm tired!
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
i need not tire myself and run myself to death.
instead, i need to rely on Christ for my strength.
the Scripture I probably quote the most is Philippians 4:13: "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength".
but it says through Christ. not with Christ, which implies apart from Christ, but THROUGH which implies together.
meaning, I need to rely on HIM! not myself.
Satan doesn't like the fact that I am trying to live a life set apart from the world. Set apart from the dark nature of the world. He knows just where to attack me (my pride) and he succeeded for a short time.
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."
But now, I am standing firm in God!
Nothing is going to separate me from Christ (Romans 8:38-39) and I am going to be strengthened by His mighty power! So between now and Costa Rica and beyond, I am going to shield and guard my heart from Satan's schemes. He may try and break me down, but God is always with me. I'm armed and I'm ready to spread the Gospel of Christ! Satan will not defeat me.