Friday, November 19, 2010

you think you know, but you have NO idea.

inspiration: proverbs 16:9

Proverbs 16:9: "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."

this last week has been absolutely craaaazy! but in the absolute best way possible: i've had a lot of "only-possible-through-God" moments.

1) a couple weeks ago, i shared with my small group (and im pretty sure i wrote a blog about it too) about how i was tired of pursuing the "wrong" guys. it was something that i truly tried to control and probably one of the biggest obstacles keeping me from trusting God wholeheartedly. outwardly, i said "i want to focus on my relationship with Christ first and foremost in my life. God is blessing me with a season of singleness for a purpose." but inwardly, i thought "i'm too independent and too complicated for anyone. maybe someday someone will come along. maybe, just maybe. but probably not." and i was content to be single. for however long it took to find someone.

2) i also had my heart dead set on the Southwest internship in Dallas. i was praying that i would get it; anything to get me out of here; anything to give me something "new" in life. i was sure i had all the potential, i was sure it was something that i truly wanted.

in my heart, i had planned my course. in my heart, i thought i knew what was "best for me" and what i wanted.
but the second part of Proverbs 16:9 got me!!

1) God has blessed me with the opportunity to get to know a really, super-cool, awesome guy who also just happens to be completely in love with Jesus! it's totally a perfectly-timed-God-thing, too. in the past week, i've pretty much had my slightly-jaded-"i'm-too-independent-for-a-guy" attitude flipped upside down. i'm still not quite sure why God is choosing to bless me when i feel like i don't deserve it, but i definitely won't complain! it's definitely a Christ-centric friendship and i feel like even if it never works out relationship-wise, we will still be friends since it's based on the foundation of Jesus rather than the earthly desire for a relationship (which has been a huge issue for me in the past). but regardless of what happens, i am certainly blessed to know Jason :)

2) i didn't get the Southwest internship. but despite my previous feelings about it, i wasn't that disappointed. as it turns out, im quite happy i didn't get it! (see above ;)) i wanted selfishly to get the internship; i selfishly wanted to leave and start over somewhere else (why? i truly have no clue), but as it turns out, i have far too much here to just leave. i have some of the best friends that i could ask for, a phenomenal church that i love serving at and living life with, family, and other opportunities!

in fact, i heard about an IT position opening at APSU the day before yesterday (which is another perfectly God-timed event because I found out yesterday that i didn't get the internship). i've talked to a couple people that i've worked with in the past about it and hopefully it will be posted within the next couple weeks. prior to the Southwest deal, APSU was at the top of where i wanted to work post-graduation and i had gotten my hopes seemingly crushed when two IT positions were filled earlier this year; but God has presented another opportunity to maybe work here! i definitely hope that it works out :) :)

God works in strange, but amazing ways. All His plans are perfectly timed, even if they're not on our earthly timetable. Everything works out for His glory. Even when we think we have everything planned out, God's plans will always come to fruition and they'll always be even greater than anything we can plan for ourselves! Nothing is too big for God, nothing is too small for God. Even when we think we know, we have NO idea of the greatness and majesty of the Almighty Creator God!

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