why am i still so drawn to be with a person that i know i'm not meant to be with?
why do i still worry about him so much?
why do i still care?
i guess the last two questions are more because i still care about him as a friend. sure, we're still walking on eggshells a bit and i have to be careful with my heart and with my emotions, but he is human and he is my friend, as hard as it is to say sometimes.
but that first question is just one of those hard questions in life that i'll never know the answer to, but i'll always have to deal with it. God will give me the strength to overcome it and to trust in His plans for me, rather than being pulled by my emotions. He has already brought me so far and helped me overcome a lot of my past mistakes. yet, the longing for companionship still exists.
i have a lot of legit concerns and issues with relationships and i know that only time and the power of the Holy Spirit will heal old wounds and help me find strength that can only be acquired through Christ.
it's hard to deal with. but i know that in time, God will place the man in my life that He created for me. i have to only be patient, trust in Him, and live a life that glorifies HIM above all else and everything else will be provided for.
"An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband." -1 Corinthians 7:34