Wednesday, September 8, 2010

overwhelmed: understatement of the year.

inspiration: this week thus far.

so yesterday, i started my internship with Ingersoll-Rand. it went pretty well. there wasn't a lot to do, seeing as it was my first day. but i think i will definitely learn a lot and get to experience the "real world" some and i'm excited about those opportunities.

but when i left, the thought hit me: "do i really want to do this?" and the answer is Yes. i absolutely know this. i've worked hard for the last three years. graduation is impossibly close. i've been granted this amazing gift from God. and i enjoy it.

but i battled thoughts of "what if you're not good at it? what if i realize after graduation that this isn't what i enjoy doing?" and all day yesterday, i battled these thoughts. i encountered various other stressful situations (in which, under normal circumstances, i never would've freaked out about), but yesterday and this morning were both just incredibly stressful times.

this afternoon got a lot better and i praise God for allowing me to experience such a wonderful and uplifting afternoon in the midst of, what will probably become, "near-graduation-the-real-world-is-looming-just-head crisis". but right now, i stand strong in the promises that God will provide in all circumstances for me.

If He is calling me to do something else, i know He will let me know on His timetable His plans for me. He promises to never leave nor forsake me. I am reminded heavily of His presence through the song "Everything Falls" by Fee.

"When everything falls apart, Your arms hold me together.
When everything falls apart, You're the only Hope for this heart.
When everything falls apart and my strength is gone, I find You mighty and strong. You keep holding on.
You keep holding on."

Even in the midst of my turmoil and struggle to discern God's will for my life, I know that He will hold me together and ultimately use me in the ways He has planned and destined me for.

I ask if you're still reading this that you would continue to pray for me as well. I don't know what the future holds for me, but I pray for God's strength and love to carry me through all the days where I feel overwhelmed.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

--Matthew 6:25-34

I will strive to not worry about tomorrow. I pray for God's peace and strength to overtake me and to surround me as I finish my last semester, work in my internship, and begin living life.

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