Tuesday, July 27, 2010

ready to run.

inspiration: i'm ready to run my 5K and to potentially start "dating"...

i'm running my first 5K in 11 days! :)

i'm so excited i can hardly contain myself. as much as i want to improve and get better and prepare physically and mentally for this race, i know i need to also guard myself from excitement and overdoing it. yesterday, i changed my route a bit and decided to run further down one of the main roads. well, apparently, there is a hill that is pretty intense (doesn't seem that intense when i drive up it, but i guess that's the difference between running and driving), because when i finally got to the top of it and turned down one of the side roads, my legs were SCREAMING!! three words: shin. splints. suck! i continued running through the first part of my workout (18 minutes of running), but after i walked and got about 2 minutes into my second part, i just couldn't handle the pain anymore. shin splints basically are tiny fractures in your shins and i knew that even though it would mean i would have to get up today and do my run (which i did, sans big hill), that it was necessary for me to just take it easy rather than to get hurt (especially so close to my race).

and i guess the same concept goes for my dating life (well, the one that i will potentially have, since i don't have one now). i want so much to just go out and date people and to have fun. but at the same time, i want to live out a biblical relationship and marriage. and nowhere in Scripture is "casual dating" okay. it's about pursuing a relationship (and marriage!!) that glorifies Christ in every facet.

it's taken me a while to get over my past mistakes and to finally be at a place to be open and ready to date someone (who MUST be pursuing Christ wholeheartedly, first and foremost...a standard i've previously let slide). it's a scary thought because i ask myself constantly "Nikki, what if your standards are too high. what if no guy wants to try to win your heart?" and it's a daunting thing because i'm afraid i'll end up single and alone except for my plants (i can't see myself as a "cat lady"...but i do currently have a small collection of plants...). but before i get too carried away in my worries, i also have to realize that nothing is "too much" or no standards are "too high" for God. if God has someone out there for me, He will provide this guy with the strength and courage (and patience!!) to pursue me and to be my future husband.

i don't need to just "endure pain" in pursuing meaningful relationships if they are only going to hurt me in the long run. just like i don't need to run with shin splints just so i don't have to get up the next day and redo my workout. it's all about patience and running the race with full faith in Christ.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." --Philippians 4:13

3 comments:

  1. Blessings to you on your run Nikki and may God watch over you and your shin splints as you run. I know what you're going through...I used to run and mountain climb and battled splints throughout..still do.

    Brad

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  2. yeah girl!

    I completely identify with this blog. I still have dreams with Jon or his family in them and it's hard sometimes but I'm hoping that the more I do to try and get closer to God the better things will be in future relationships?

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  3. Thanks, Brad. Every morning I wake up and think "Why am I going to run? I hate running." and then I finish my training and realize that I've accomplished something, and it makes it all worth it. When I first started running, people would comment and compliment me on my determination and willpower (because some mornings I was getting up at 5AM to do a 30 min run before going to work for 8.5-9 hours) but all i could tell them was "It's all JESUS! 'cuz he knows I would rather be asleep!" and I still attribute all my willpower and strength to Him because I know that without it, I would've quit a long time ago.

    And Brooke, it's definitely hard to overcome a serious relationship. I still find myself thinking about Josh more than i should. But i know that if God could bless me with Josh and could still bless me after all the junk we battled through, I know that when "the ONE" truly does enter my life, that it will be far more amazing than anything Josh and I could've ever had.

    Keep up the faith, girl :) Matthew 7:11 ;)

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