Wednesday, June 9, 2010

beautiful disaster.

inspiration: this is for my friend who I pray will trust God's plans for her despite the hard times she is encountering now. dear friend (you know who you are), i love you. you're beautiful. the pain you're experiencing now is only going to make your faith and dependence on God stronger. pain isn't fun. it isn't easy. it hurts. but seeing God's work can make all the difference. i've been where you are and i love knowing that I'm where I am today because of the grace and unconditional love of Christ.

"Before the Morning" - Josh Wilson

heartbreak: if i'm being candid and completely honest, it sucks. miserably.
i've been there. it's a long, arduous process to overcome, too. i've experienced more than my fair share of anger, resentment, hatred, bitterness, and pain. i've cried until my face was red and puffy. i've screamed for no reason. i've found myself face down on the floor just wishing it would all go away or that i could take it all back.

but God never left me in those moments, and He won't leave you either. i felt His hand on my heart every time i cried, yelled, and was lying on the floor. it always took me hitting rock bottom time and time again to realize just how much God loves me.

Psalm 13

dear friend, over the past several months, i've hardcore battled my selfish heart in order to keep my relationship with God top priority. i, literally, have to almost write in my prayer journal "I pray that I take up my cross, die to my selfish heart, and live a life that brings glory to You" in order to force myself to really put my selfish desires aside.

and despite being single, despite the world trying to pressure me (and women, in general) to "find a man", "be strong", "get married", "have babies", despite it all, i trust in God.

He will build us up in our weakest moments. Even in the moments when we feel like God has better things to do (and I've definitely had those moments), I have to remind myself that nothing is too big or too small for God. God created the heavens and earth. He created billions of galaxies and is praised through creation every single day; yet He also knows the number of hairs on my head. Incredible!

the title of this blog is "beautiful disaster", based on Jon McLaughlin's song of the same title. sometimes it's hard to trust in God when we're afraid we'll never be "good enough". it's hard to see the beauty and blessings and awesome power of Christ because we feel like the world around us is crashing down.

but, dear friend, know that God has everything under control. He wants you to trust in Him, to find fulfillment in Him. He can handle anything and everything! His love for us is unchanging and unceasing. It's unconditional and it's powerful!

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.
-Psalm 51:17

it's easier said than done, but know that His love hands-down far outweighs the love anyone else could ever have for you. His love is unfailing and undyiing. His love is powerful beyond measure. and through Christ, all things are possible :)

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