Tuesday, March 9, 2010

no more gray.

inspiration: a crazy day.

the past two days have just been maddeningly crazy. between systems analysis and a roller-coaster-of-emotions-love-life, i feel like im about to just crash (which im likely to do considering i've been awake since 3AM this morning).

but i've come to realize that i cannot handle gray areas.
this takes me back to Passion 2010, listening to Beth Moore speak about spiritual discernment. but most importantly, i've come to realize that in my future relationships, there is a black and white area.

the black is the "just friends" area. this to me means just that. just friends. we just hang out, have fun, no commitments to each other; just enjoying each other's company.

the white is "i'm in it for the long run". over the past few months, i've come to realize that i'm not into "casual dating". dating to no end just seems very pointless to me. when you give someone time and energy and attention, you're giving them pieces of yourself in the process. and the more you give, the more attached you become. but if you're attaching yourselves with no intention of "becoming one flesh" (aka marriage), then what's the point? why do it? you're only hurting yourselves and the other person.

i've been caught up in gray areas before. even today, i fell briefly into an especially gray area; but i'm completely rooted in the fact that i will either be black or white. i have suffered a lot of heartache and pain standing in the gray waiting for something to change. waiting for someone to come along. but i've realized that God cannot be glorified when we're straddling the fence. we have to be all for Him. and that's what i intend to be in either a "just friends" situation or in a "relationship for the long run" situation.

if i'm single, i'm glorifying God.
if i'm dating with the intent of "becoming one flesh" with someone, we will glorify God with our relationship.

i'm black or i'm white.
no more in between.

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