Saturday, March 20, 2010

boy hardships.

inspiration: boys make my head hurt.

so i've been dealing a lot with troubles of the heart.
certain situations have made me start thinking about my ex-boyfriend a lot. i've been praying for him and i've been praying for discernment about how to handle certain situations and i feel like i've gotten no clear answer.

i've realized that i care about him immensely, and based on some recent conversations, i'm led to believe that he feels the same way. it's an incredibly hard situation to be in since i'm trying hard to stay out of "gray areas" (as noted in this blog post). i'm striving hard to keep my focus on God, but it feels like the more i try, the weaker i get and the more my thoughts turn to josh.

recently, my thoughts have revolved around "can i see us having a future?". truth be told, i don't want to be "just friends" because i care about him on a deeper level. i'm trying to discern if he is "the one", but i fear that the answer i'll get won't be God's voice, but rather my own desires. like i said, it's a pretty complex situation.

i trust in God's plans for us. i know that in either situation, whether we remain whatever we are or if we are meant to get back together, that it's all for His purposes. but i certainly need some prayer and strength.

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