Friday, January 15, 2010


inspiration: my aching heart.

sometimes i wonder why i struggle so much with having complete uninterrupted faith in God's will for me, and more specifically, the person He has created for me, IF He has created someone for me...i wonder "why i can't push away feelings for someone?"...i wonder "why do i feel the way i do when all around me, i'm blessed beyond measure?"

lack of love for God? No. I still love God with all my heart and soul and mind. I try and serve him with the talents and gifts He has given me. lack of self-esteem? No. I know my strengths and weaknesses and I'm willing to try and grow as a person with each opportunity I'm given.

i think it's just fear.
fear of rejection.
fear of failure.
i'm just plain scared, i guess.
scared of opening my heart up to someone who could break it again.
scared of breaking someone's heart again.
scared of failing in another relationship.

i'm struggling as a woman to just accept myself and the woman God has created me to be because all i want is to be wanted. and right now, it feels like no one wants me.

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