Tuesday, December 22, 2009

diving in.

inspiration: "Diving In" by Steven Curtis Chapman


I'm not much of a swimmer. (Truth be told, though, my "dive" in real life is not-so-much a graceful dive as it is a painful "bellyflop!!" =[ )
But when it comes to God, I want to be a fearless (and graceful) diver. I want to experience His amazing power and to let myself "get swept away into the holy flood".

Like I said, I'm not much of a swimmer.
When it comes to swimming pools, I'd rather chill on a float than be out in the middle playing Marco Polo. I'm just not a strong swimmer...I guess the same has applied to my spiritual life. I've been given this amazing opportunity to enter an awesome, amazing river of supernatural waters; but instead, I've been chillaxing on my inflatable float with my water wings on, choosing to skim in the shallow end of the kiddie pool, rather than experiencing what this river has to offer me. I guess, when it comes to pools and water, I'm afraid to branch out, afraid to look like a fool dog-paddling my way across the water.

But I'm choosing to "dive in" to this powerful river. I may look like a fool, but God will take care of me.
At this particular moment, I'm still standing on the ledge, looking down, because to be honest, I'm scared out of my mind what making this jump means. I'm scared of what total surrender looks like. I'm scared of "drowning". Scared of looking like a fool as I flail around trying to stay above water. But I know that once I take that leap of faith, God will protect me like a lifejacket. Once I enter those waters, I may be under for a second, but He will lift me back up and carry me safely to my destination.

...and as I always do, through pouring my thoughts out (be it on paper or in a word document), I resolve my own issues. It never fails that once I read my own words/thoughts, I realize I need to swallow my pride and take my own advice, as difficult as it may be. Prayer alone will not resolve my issues: Surrendering my all and trusting fully in God's plan is what will bring about resolution and peace in my heart...

So in the words of Steven Curtis Chapman:
Sink or swim, I'm diving in!

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