Monday, December 28, 2009

armor of God.

inspiration: Captivating + a friend's text

I've been battling myself for a while. I've been battling a broken heart and a lot of emotion. But something that I was made aware of today was that I've been battling Satan, too.

I sent a text message to a close friend of mine this morning:

"Why is it so hard to be so confident in Gods plan for me when I feel so down about joshua?"
This was her response:

"I think sometimes Satan entices us with the past and negative feelings about a situation or ourselves because he truly knows God wants us to live in the present because he has a perfect plan for our future."
That text alone was not enough for me to realize Satan's hold on me though.

See, I've been struggling with so many thoughts along the lines of "You're a failure. Who would want to love you? You failed Josh. You'll fail again. You're not worth it to anyone." It's been hard to focus completely on praising God and all His glorious blessings when I've been so bombarded with all these negative feelings.

But I was reading Captivating and came across some powerful words that spoke right to my soul:

"God desires the woman's spirit to rise up in his strength as well. One day we will be queens -- we will rule with Jesus (Rev. 21). We need to grow in our understanding and practice of spiritual warfare not only because we are being attacked, but because it is one of the primary ways we grow in Christ. He uses spiritual warfare in our lives to strengthen our faith, to draw us closer to him, to train us for the roles we are meant to play, to encourage us to play those roles, and to prepare us for our future at his side.

It is not that we are abandoned. Christ has not abandoned us.
It is not that we are alone. He will never leave us or forsake us.
It is not even up to us. The battle is the Lord's.
(pg. 195)

Of course, we all know that he tests us to strengthen our faith in him (James 1:2-4 is one of my favorite verses). But sometimes, he uses "spiritual warfare" to strengthen us, too. (I had to look it up and according to a quick Wikipedia definition, spiritual warfare "is the concept that demons attempt to thwart Good and the will of God").

So this relates right back to what my friend told me earlier! (Talk about amazing timing!)

Satan has been placing these burdens and thoughts and negative feelings on my heart to try and thwart me from trusting God fully. "Satan is a vicious, ruthless bully, and a bully will not back down unless someone stronger stands up to him and exposes him for what he is" (Captivating, 199-200).

And I am fully able to combat these negative feelings by putting on the armor of God!

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor og God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." (Ephesians 6:10-13)
I'm trying so hard to stand firm in faith. I'm trying so hard to combat negative feelings. It's going to be a long battle, but as long as I am wearing the full armor of God, I will fight hard and pray I am able to combat all my negativity and all the evil schemes Satan throws my way.

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